Gloria Schwabe

curiosity, courage, compassion

My Yoga journey began in 2012 after my first child was born as a way to cope with the postpartum depression that I found myself experiencing. As a first time mom and former “Miss Independent”, mommy hood, I found out, was not the soft, quiet and gentle calling that is portrayed in so many Hollywood movies. I didn’t know anything about diapers, breast feeding, car seats, sippy cups or teeny tiny socks. I was, to say the least, overwhelmed. It was like all the years of my life to that point didn’t exist. I was a baby again, how the hell was I supposed to raise one?

On a random Tuesday in April, I dropped the tiny version of myself off at a kids Yoga class. After, crying a little in the car, whether from leaving her for the first time or having a minute to myself I’m not sure, I took a long deep breath in, and out, and walked into the Hot Yoga studio next door. As a full figured woman I always felt self-conscious going into gyms, but damn it, I was at the end of my rope. I needed something, although I wasn’t sure what that exactly was.  

Much to my surprise, there was no judgement from the staff or students. There were only welcoming smiles asking how they could help. HOW THEY COULD HELP?! I took another long deep breath in, and out. How COULD they help me? At this point I felt like a terrible human being. I hated being a mom. I hated being at home, ALL THE TIME. I hated playing housewife (of which I was also new too). I really just thought I was wrong. How could having a “normal” life, that “everyone” dreams of, not make me happy? What was wrong with me? I politely smiled, asked for a class schedule, purchased an intro month for $40, thanked them and left.

The next day I was back, again the staff greeted me with a smile…I was jazzed for the first time in months! Then the class…I NEARLY DIED…not actually but man…Yoga was hard, and they wanted me to do it in a room that was 45 degrees C! Challenge accepted! I gave it my all, as perfectly as possible, checking the mirror and gym body beside me to prove to myself, and maybe everyone else, that I belonged there, that I could totally do this! I was wrong.

It was about the end of my second week and I choose to attend a warm flow class. Halfway through the class I started feeling tears run down my face. What the hell was this? I’m working out, why am I crying? I didn’t know what was happening. I wanted to cry and release so much, but I also had to maintain my outer shell of togetherness…didn’t I?

I started practicing Yoga in 2012 after my first child was born as a way to cope with the postpartum depression that I found myself experiencing. As a first time mom and former “Miss Independent”, mommy hood, I found out, was not the soft, quiet and gentle calling that is portrayed in so many Hollywood movies. I didn’t know anything about diapers, breast feeding, car seats, sippy cups or teeny tiny socks. I was, to say the least, overwhelmed. It was like all the years of my life to that point didn’t exist. I was a baby again, how the hell was I supposed to raise one?

On a random Tuesday in April, I dropped the tiny version of myself off at a kids Yoga class. After, crying a little in the car, whether from leaving her for the first time or having a minute to myself I’m not sure, I took a long deep breath in, and out, and walked into the Hot Yoga studio next door. As a full figured woman I always felt self-conscious going into gyms, but damn it, I was at the end of my rope. I needed something, although I wasn’t sure what that exactly was.  

Much to my surprise, there was no judgement from the staff or students. There were only welcoming smiles asking how they could help. HOW THEY COULD HELP?! I took another long deep breath in, and out. How COULD they help me? At this point I felt like a terrible human being. I hated being a mom. I hated being at home, ALL THE TIME. I hated playing housewife (of which I was also new too). I really just thought I was wrong. How could having a “normal” life, that “everyone” dreams of, not make me happy? What was wrong with me? I politely smiled, asked for a class schedule, purchased an intro month for $40, thanked them and left.

The next day I was back, again the staff greeted me with a smile…I was jazzed for the first time in months! Then the class…I NEARLY DIED…not actually but man…Yoga was hard, and they wanted me to do it in a room that was 45 degrees C! Challenge accepted! I gave it my all, as perfectly as possible, checking the mirror and gym body beside me to prove to myself, and maybe everyone else, that I belonged there, that I could totally do this! I was wrong.

It was about the end of my second week and I choose to attend a warm flow class. Halfway through the class I started feeling tears run down my face. What the hell was this? I’m working out, why am I crying? I didn’t know what was happening. I wanted to cry and release so much, but I also had to maintain my outer shell of togetherness…didn’t I?

Fast forward to 2016. I was laid off from an industry that I had been in for the past 10 years. I found myself with my now two children, at home, wondering…now what? I enjoyed a peaceful summer with my kids and family, being home was great. I got to the Yoga studio 3-4 times a week, was home for my kids, got a tan like I hadn’t had in years! I felt needed and energized and generally pretty happy. Life was good again.

Fall rolls around and a new school year begins, the September Issue comes out and life is back to full speed! And…I’m still at home.  One random Tuesday night, flipping through Facebook I came across a training program for Yoga and Life Coaching certification...what the heck is Life Coaching? After talking it over with my husband, I decided to sign up, invest in me and see what came from surrendering to the unknown.

The following month I was California bound! What I didn’t know was that the next 6 months would change me. Not only did I learn a new skill, I changed on a cellular level. My brain changed. My attitude changed. My outlook and understanding of life changed. My body changed. My everything was forever different. I will forever be grateful for Hot Yoga, Face Book advertising, random Tuesdays and the unknown.

Join me as the journey continues…

Gloria is a certified Life Coach and has worked with hundreds of clients through workshops, classes and personal sessions. She's also a certified Yoga Teacher with more than 8 years of experience through personal practice and teaching and has accumulated more than 300 hours of training. Gloria is proud to be a graduate of the Yoga for All certification program with Dianne Bondy, bringing the practice of yoga to Every Body! 

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